Remember Who You Are
by Chels0320 LovingTheSongbird
Summary: Daryl deals with the loss of Beth and gets injured. On the edge of death, he accepts it. After accepting death, he wakes up to realize he is alive and has to continue living through this hell he's trapped in. Until he goes outside.


**NOTE** : I HIGHLY recommend you listen to the song Sound The Bugle by Brian Adams. I don't usually do this but if I could, I'd make it a requirement for you to listen to it before reading this. And when Beth shows up, I will make a fanvideo to this song. You best believe that.

P.S If you like that song, you should listen to his other song 'I Will Always Return' a.k.a another fanvideo I will be making when Beth makes her way back to him.

* * *

 **"Sound the bugle now, play it just for me.  
As the seasons change, remember how I used to be."**

Just to give up, that would be nice. The blissful thought of not fighting an endless battle anymore. To not feel anymore. To rest.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, yet, there's still an ache. An emptiness deep inside that won't, no, **can't** be filled. She was one of a kind. A light that never grew dark. The hope in a damn apocalyptic world.

He tries to remember how he had felt those days they had spent together. He remembered that at first it had been a slight burden. An annoyance. He thought he was stuck with her. A helpless teenager that got lucky. No. Luck wasn't it. Sure, she was lucky to have made it this far but weren't they all? Luck wasn't all though. She had it in her all along. She was strong. She was brave. She was smart.

It seemed so long ago but yet fresh pain seared through him every time he let himself go back. Back to the funeral home. Back to the still. Hell, even back to the prison. Back to a time just when she was just there. A place he called home. Not Alexandria. Alexandria made him feel closed in. Claustrophobic. It didn't feel like home. Not without her.

 **"Now I can't go on… I can't even start.  
I've got nothin' left. Just an empty heart."**

Lost. That was how Daryl felt. Even though Aaron and Eric had welcomed him into their home he still felt lost.

How am I supposed to start over?

He didn't want to. He'd recruit with Aaron but just so he could get away. Be out there. Away.

Even though he had everyone back. Even when he had reunited with Carol back at Terminus. He had still wished when they had come up to the cabin harboring Tyreese and Judith, Beth would have emerged with them. She hadn't but he hadn't given up then. She was out there somewhere. Some place. That place.

They had been so close. He had touched her shoulder. She was coming home. She was going to sing to him again and tell him about how horrible that hospital was but that she was so happy to be back with the group. With him.

She was supposed to be here. **She** was supposed to have lived. Supposed to have survived.

Daryl blinked away the tears that stung his eyes. He was on a porch, staring up at the stars as he recalled all the painful memories. He felt alone. More alone than when he had lost her the first time. Because… At least there was hope of seeing her again. At least he could believe. He could dream.

 **"I'm a soldier, wounded so I must give up the fight.  
There's nothing more for me, lead me away...**

 **Or leave me lying here."**

Dark, red crimson liquid was pouring out of him.

He had been caught off guard. After escaping his small group of kidnappers he hadn't been paying attention. He had gotten sloppy.

It wasn't the sound or even the initial entry of the bullet. It was the sight of the blood and the vertigo that had him falling to his knees.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to end. He oddly felt at peace with it all. Like he could now float away and not have to deal with it anymore. He could be taken away from all the bull shit and corruption this world had to offer. He could be with her again. Maybe. Just maybe.

He felt hands on him, someone calling his name but his eyes had already fluttered shut. Aaron had found him and now he was going to watch as Daryl slipped into the unknown abyss of his afterlife. Before Daryl totally lost consciousness the hands were gone.

 _Good. Just leave me be._

 **"Sound the bugle now, tell them I don't care.  
There's not a road I know, that leads to anywhere.**

 **Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark  
Lay right down, decide not to go on."**

 _It's not your time. Not now. Last man standin', remember?_

 _She was bright. Really bright because she had a light shining behind her. Her blonde hair almost an exaxt replica of a halo. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead._

He had awoken in a room. His whole torso ached something fierce but his anger was what won over any emotion. He lifted himself out of the bed slowly and gingerly. He had healed well but his wound still hurt immensely.

 _Why the fuck did they just not leave me?_

Even in his head that thought sounded beyond selfish. Or was it the other way around. He had been content. He had been ready. Happy. He had been with her.

Now he was back.

Thrown back into a world of hurt and pain. Destroying anything good or bright. He was damned. Damned to live on and suffer, just like the rest of them.

He got dressed and headed outside.

 **"Then from on high. Somewhere in the distance.  
There's a voice that calls, "Remember who you are"."**

He pushed passed the group of people standing in front of the house he had been harbored in.

"Daryl-"

He shrugged Rick off as the other man tried to hold him back.

"Daryl, wait."

"Gotta… I just gotta take a walk."

His growl was apparently forceful enough. Rick hadn't come after him, nor did Aaron whom had also been part of the group standing outside the door.

He hadn't gotten a few more steps when he heard singing. A very soft melodious voice. Sweet as honey.

He stopped in his tracks and looked over to one of the houses. It was coming from inside Rick's house. Daryl looked back to the group outside the house he had been recovering in. They were staring back at him.

What fresh hell was this? Was he actually dead?

That's the only way he could explain what he was hearing. Because that sure sounded like her but…

His knees practically buckled underneath him.

She emerged holding Judith, rocking the little girl side to side, still singing. Her eyes had drifted from Judith to him and she was stopped mid-verse. Her eyes softened as his widened. If he was going to wake up, he better damn well do it now. This better not be some cruel joke his mind was playing on him. Some unbelievable paradise. Some heaven.

She had sat Judith on a blanket to play with some toys. He didn't know how but his feet started moving without his brain's permission, which was still trying to catch up.

She walked down the stairs of the porch, each step she took his heartbeat kicked up a notch.

They stood a few feet from each other, not saying a word. Silence was enough for them. Always had been. They could speak with their eyes just fine. But sometimes, it just wasn't enough.

"Mr. Dixon… Ya' look like you've seen a ghost." Beth's smile went with her small giggle.

His damn self couldn't think of anything to say… So he closed the space between them and just held her. Her arms slowly came up and around his shoulders. Both of them were hanging on to each other like if they let go, the other would disappear.

He didn't care how. He didn't care when. He was just living in the moment. If this was a dream, he wanted to stay. If this was heaven, he wanted to stay.

When he found his voice he uttered into her ear, "Missed ya', Beth."

He didn't miss her small laugh, "Told ya' you'd miss me."

He was home. In her arms.

 **"If you lose yourself, your courage soon will follow.**

 **So be strong tonight. Remember who you are."**

"I almost gave up. Livin' and fightin'."

They were outside the walls of Alexandria, sitting and perched up against a tree. It was close but enough ways away.

Beth leaned back into Daryl's chest and brought both her hands to his thighs, resting them there.

"Glad ya' didn't." Beth craned her neck to look at him and he was staring back at her. She smiled as she rested her head back. Her pulse quickened when she felt soft kisses up her neck, goosebumps crawling over skin.

She giggled as her hand found his, his thumb running over her knuckles.

"Me too." He whispered against her neck.

* * *

He wasn't going to lose her again. He couldn't take it. Not a third time.

There were gun shots and screams all around him but he was focused on finding her. That's all that mattered. He was so dead set on finding her, a walker came out of nowhere and caught him off gauard. His reaction time was poor but its head exploded before the consequences of Daryl's tunnel vision cost him his life.

He hadn't seen who shot the walker but immediately felt somone's back to his.

"What the hell was that Daryl?"

He gave a small smile as Beth pushed into his back, urging him to keep walking. This was a whole new take on 'having his back'.

She kept anything from touching them and he kept the path ahead clear. They made it to the guard tower and found it empty.

"No wonder no one saw them comin'." Beth grumbled as she lowered the black bag of guns she had supplied. She withdrew two rifles and held out one to Daryl.

"Ready?" She asked him, eyes dilated and seething with revenge.

He shouldn't. But they could die tonight. So instead of his hand grabbing the gun, it grabbed the back of her head and pulled their lips together. She was unresponsive, slightly dazed at first but soon melted into him and moved her lips against his.

They departed but she brought her forehead to his. He took his hand away from her hair and grabbed the rifle.

Daryl nodded to her, "Always."

* * *

The last of the enemy had vanished. Either was taken out by Beth and Daryl or someone on the ground.

Beth lowered her weapon and returned it to the bag and Daryl did the same.

Daryl started to leave but Beth scurried to get in his way of the door.

"Oh no you don't." Beth brought her arms around Daryl's neck and locked their lips once again in a passionate kiss.

Her hands went to his belt and a long time ago Daryl would have certainly rejected her but she had made her feelings clear to him earlier. She loved him for him. She didn't care about his past. She cared about him and who he was. He had almost forgotten, but she had reminded him. Reminded him who he was. Just like before.

Clothes were discarded in a flash of want and need emanating between them. He wanted to be gentle and sensual but she was having none of that. He had lowered her to the cold cement and had started kissing a trail down her body.

She was an impatient little thing.

She had grabbed him by his long hair, forcing him to stop. Beth breathed out, "I appreciate this but… I need you to not think and just…"

She was searching for the words. He kissed her flat stomach and she gasped when he nipped at her flesh a little.

"Daryl, just… fuck me."

Before he could completely come to the realization of the crude form of her sentence she had pulled him up and kissed him roughly, rubbing herself against him, creating a friction that was almost too much for him. With their lips still connected, he stilled her movements so that he could push into her slowly.

Their lips came apart but just a breath away as they both let out sounds of pleasure, a guttural groan from Daryl and a moaned whimper from Beth. He made sure she was ready before he started moving.

Her arms came around his back, nails digging into his skin as his movements became faster and less controlled. His arms were holding himself up so not to crush her as he seemed to go deeper with each and every thrust. He knew she was close. Without losing his balance he brought one of his hands between them and rubbed that sensitive bundle of nerves which earned him a bite to the shoulder, muffling Beth's small scream of release. Her walls eliciting spasms around him as he thrusted one last time into her, finding his release as well.

He rolled to the side. Both their chests heaving and both of them trying to catch their breaths. Beth turned her head towards him, a huge bright smile covering her features. She bit her bottom lip as she rolled over to him and brought her arms around his torso and laid her head on his chest.

They both sighed and neither spoke. They didn't have to. No regrets. Slight awkwardness but that's expected for a first time between them and it was more on his part.

He was about to say something to her when he heard Rick's voice shout his name.

Beth grumbled as she sleepily burrowed her head more into him, her face disappearing into the crook of his neck. Daryl gave a rare smile coupled with a chuckle as he loosened her grip much to her disappointment.

"We gotta go Beth."

Beth sighed but nodded as they both got up to find their clothing. Once they were both situated Daryl gave her one last lingering kiss as they exited the guard tower together.

* * *

People eyed them and talked but that didn't stop Daryl from reaching for Beth's hand. Or putting an arm around her waist. If he was around her, he was touching her. And she would accept it always. She would lean right back into him, intertwine her fingers with his, always returning affection. Showing him that he was doing well and he was allowed to do these things.

There was a group meeting and everyone gathered into the room to listen to some new precautions and regulations. Daryl sat in a chair and Beth came up behind him and rested her chin on his head, arms coming around him to rest on his chest.

She was here. She was here with him. And nothing was going to change that. Not again and not ever.

He would fight and give his last breath to keep her safe. To keep her here. To have her be his safe place. His salvation. His freedom. His hope.

 **"Yeah you're a soldier now, fighting in a battle.  
To be free once more, yeah, that's worth fighting for."**


End file.
